Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Friday will be a sad day...

Friday December 23 will be the start of dieting in our house. Both the hubs and I are feeling the lack of exercise and the gobs of yummy food we have been eating. It's been a little too many casseroles and not enough chicken salads at home.... So minus Christmas, we will be doing INSANITY and eating healthier. I have to admit that I get a little casserole happy. They are easy, I can make them on the weekend and bake the during the week. They are cheap and they are yummy. And sadly, they will be few and far between. And in place there will be lots of salads, chicken, and healthy foods. And thanks to Pintrest hopefully a few new healthy and CHEAP recipes.

Anyone have anything cheap and easy they would like to share? Unfortunately the hubs does not want to eat the same thing week after week.... Gotta come up with new things!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Home for the Holidays

Well... Not quite. But we are home, and we are celebrating so it's close!

I love going home. Everything is familiar, I know my way around,  I can see the people I want to and avoid those who I don't wants to see (dashing down a random aisle in Target, anyone?). The only sad things about this trip is that we are only home for about 2 and a half days. So it is lots and lots of family time. And I have to say, I am super glad that my Mama doesn't live here any more. Not that I don't want to see her, but juggling 3 families in 2.5 days is not easy. Two families is hard enough.

So what's on the schedule? Last night we got in to town, unpacked relaxed, and let H out of his car seat. Today was spent seeing some family friends. Then tonight is dinner with my Gran, Dad, his fiance, and possibly my brother. Then tomorrow is lunch with a friend and Christmas with J's family. And Wednesday we will drive back to P-Town, see my grandma and Aunt and (fingers crossed) two friends. One of my besties and another girl I went to high school with.

One thing that I am loving about being home is all of the decoration my MoLaw has up. Many of the things are home-made and very Pintrest worthy. A glass block filled with Christmas lights and then a ribbon bow. A vase filled with ornaments, garland beads, and these curly stick things. It's Christmas-y with out throwing up Christmas on you. My Mama is the same way. The way she decorates is very similar. Not something that you would be able to buy in a store, but something you make your own. Maybe one day my house will be similar.

Well since I am on vacation, I am off to take a nap with my son. LOVE VACATION!

Friday, December 16, 2011

8 Months

Oh.mylanta. Time flies!! I cannot believe how big my little man is getting. No doctors visits this month, so I have no idea how big Mr. H is, but I am guessing somewhere around 20 lbs or less. Lil Ninja is not the biggest baby on the block. But he is just perfect. We are still in his infant carrier, he is in size 6 month onesies, sleepers, and finally pants. Size 3 costco diapers, and still his pure and natural Kawaii cloth diapers. And for hats??? Over one year. Yup, still got a giant noggin!

This has been a bit of a frustrating month for my little man, not that I can really complain because 98% of the times he is a happy little stinker. Lots of new things developmentally and that has made for a few little meltdowns. Most noticeably, he is starting to cry when one of us leaves the room. Totally normal and totally annoying. The doctor warned me about this at his 6 month check up. He is also babbling all the time. Lots and lots of noises. As far as I can tell, he isn't associating any words with any thing yet, but I do know he says Mama. Not yet in relation to me, but in the midst of all his other words. But when I say mama back to him, his little face lights up. Oh he is a joy!!

He has also started getting on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. We are only days away from crawling. I think I may be the only person who's babe will crawl before they sit by themselves. He just has no interest in sitting. He will sit in his high chair and eat, he will sit in my lap, and when I pull him to a seated position, he will stay there for a few seconds and then FLING himself backwards. He wants to be on the move, and sitting just doesn't do it. Which, by the way, just rolling around he is into everything. I can't turn my back for a second before my little stinker has rolled into the couch/entertainment center/kitchen/dog/chair. He is constantly on the move!!

He is LOVING feeding himself and mommy HATES it. Ohhhh dinner time is so messy!! And he LOVES it. We have these little puffs that he has such a fun time feeding himself. Only about a quarter actually end up in his mouth, but he is getting better. Next time I make some food, I am going to leave some slices of baked apples, roasted squash and what not alone so he can have some more finger foods.

Still no sleeping thru the night... Maybe when he is 4. Now that he is over his cold, he is generally up once to twice a night just for us to put in a paci. I could let him cry himself to sleep at night, but I just can't do it in the middle of the night. So for now, it is what it is. At least he isn't up 3 times a night to eat. It could be worse!!

I was thinking about this the other day: I knew once I had a baby exactly how much I loved him (a lot!) but I never realized how much he would love me. And that probably sounds terribly selfish, but it had really never dawned on me how awesome this little person could think I am. I know that I light up playing with, cuddling, feeding, and just enjoying my little man, but it makes me so much happier to see how happy and loved he feels.

Being a mom is so much different from what I though. And so much better.

Mommy Confession:
H was sick last week, and he ended up sleeping in his bassinet next to the bed because it is inclined and WAY easier to pop his paci back in after he has coughed and sneezed it out. Well.... he definitely stayed in that a day or two longer than he needed to because I was loving not having to get out of bed to put that darned paci back in. I'm a lazy mama!


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Mid December

How on earth is is already mid December???

Time to check in on my goals:

And my goals for December are:

  • Stay on budget for Christmas + December birthday gifts. Perfection! Came in exactly on budget! I would like to up it a little next year and give us a little wiggle room to buy for some of the people we WANT to buy things for and not just family. 
  • Any bonus money goes to our Ikea fund. I bonused again this month, another $200 bucks towards Ikea!! Which is a good thing because I think BOTH of the people that we were selling our two couches two have backed out. So we are waiting until we are back from vacation to do anything about selling them on craigslist. 
  • Put up Christmas Decorations Easy-peasy lemon-squeasy. Tree has been up and decorated since the first weekend in December thanks to my amazing husband. And the decorations? I should probably shop the after Christmas sales to beef up my collection a little. 
  • Make goodies for people I can't buy for (co-workers, extended family) Total slacker here. Did not make a think. And I have really easy recipies too. Plus pintrest? Total fail. However, I will probably make something closer to Christmas for the people we are having over.
  • Do at least 2 Christmas-y type activities with my little family Fail so far. However, we will go Christmas light looking when we are home plus we have a Christmas party to attend while home. So that will count. 
  • Make a travel budget and stick to it I've pulled out cash....And will pull out some more before we leave on Friday... This may be a fail.
  • Cancel Aflac!  Woo hoo! I am free! This is $20 extra a month that can go towards savings!
  • Figure out how to make our printer print Have not touched the printer... Fail.
So I am coming out 50/50 here. We will see by December 22nd how I have come out with the Christmas activities and the travel budget. Could be two more things crossed off!!

I am going to HAVE to do some 2012 goals. I love this monthly goal thing a little too much. Most of them will probably be financial, but maybe I can finally make the commitment to going back to school again. Not gonna lie, the cost scares me a bit. And filling out the FAFSA scares me even more!!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Monthly Goals December

I am LOVING making these goals! I feel like my month is a little more accomplished this way. So here is how I ended up in November:
  • Send out Birthday card/present to my Dad and Brother. Holla!! Sent my brother a card with cash, and Dad's arrived on time!
  • De-clutter the garage and/or spare closet   Again, Holla!! J cleaned out the garage and I cleaned out the closet. Plus all of the stuff went out the door and to the thrift store. I'd say that is a double score.
  • Re-organize hall closet with the sheets placed in the pillow case Done! It looks great!
  • Christmas Shop!! Hmm... I've done more, but I am not finished. So I will say WIN. 
  • Finish up frames! Well.... They are sanded, painted, and have scrapbook paper in the frames. I am missing the hot glue gun I need, and clips that need to be spray painted. So, fail!
  • Make pears for H? .Done! And I made squash, yams, and apples. About 300 ounces for $10.00 Awesome. 
And my goals for December are:

  • Stay on budget for Christmas + December birthday gifts. 
  • Any bonus money goes to our Ikea fund. 
  • Put up Christmas Decorations
  • Make goodies for people I can't buy for (co-workers, extended family)
  • Do at least 2 Christmas-y type activities with my little family
  • Make a travel budget and stick to it
  • Cancel Aflac!
  • Figure out how to make our printer print
Fairly easy goals. I think the hardest will be staying on budget for travel. The one thing that will help is that J and I have made December a "spend" month. So the extra money that would go towards paying off debt (like last month) will be pulled out in cash, and we will have that on hand to pay for things like gas and what not. 

Does any one else make monthly or weekly goals? (I know Kaylee has her 11 in 11 goals, LOVE it!)


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thankful Thanksgiving

I am surprised at home much fun I had on Thanksgiving. We spent it with a friend J made at work and a bunch of their friends. I think all in all there was about 20 plus people in their house. Best part, they had a 10 month old who was crawling and sitting. She and H were LAUGHING up a storm together. It was so nice to see him really interact with another baby. There is a 10 month old at daycare, but I don't generally get to see them play together. So sweet watching them play. =)

My one and only Black Friday purchase was a pair of AE skinny jeans. I am super excited. This is my first pair of skinny jeans. And they were an online purchase so I am crossing all of my fingers that they will fit okay. Best part? 40% off plus free shipping. Way to make it easy on a girl!! I love that kind of deal.

My little ninja has learned a new sound. And it is a whiny squeal. Not mama's favorite sound. And he is starting to cry when we leave the room. That's fun. All a part of the developmental process, I know, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I much prefer his happier sounds.

At the risk of sounding like a scrooge, I am not looking forward to putting up all of the Christmas decorations. I think being away from home and the "normal" traditions that we usually participate in. And I know, I know, we should be making our own traditions especially because we have our son now but you know what? I don't want to be a grown up. I want someone else to be in charge and take care of putting every thing up. Making sure that H doesn't eat the tree. Vacuuming up all the stupid needles. Buying new decorations to replace some of the old worn ones.

All that being said, I am sure that the decorations will be up by next week and I will be sure happy that I have a real tree that fits all of our ornaments. I will be thinking how happy I am that our house looks Christmas-y and I will be in the Christmas spirit.

Pintrest will be my BFF for new decorations. I will get in the spirit!


Sunday, November 20, 2011

7 months

My baby boy is seven months old already. How on earth has this happened?

He is 17 lbs and 26 inches long. His two bottom center teeth have come in (and two more are on their way! =( )

We are still having some troubles sleeping. For the past few weeks he has been up at 12am then 4am and of course up for the day around 6 or 7. He's my little alarm clock. On weekends we never sleep past 7am. He's just awake. Mostly we do not feed him in the middle of the night, just pop his paci back in and he's out.

I can't believe how different he is from even a month ago. My lil ninja is rolling to things he wants, picks toys out of a pile, laughs when we laugh, and is getting a little more personality on him. Some days he is a little faker =) we will get BIG crocodile tears if we move away from him, then as soon as we comes close he is all smiles. And I not talking us leaving the room, he will do this when he is playing on the floor and we sit on the couch. Lil stinker =)

I have such a happy baby. We are so blessed. That being said, he is generally so happy and go with the flow that when he has an off night it leaves both J and I worried. Tonight H has been screaming his little head off. Does not want solids, a bottle, frozen food in his mesh thing, to be held, to be on the floor. Just an unhappy babe. We are thinking his second set of teeth are coming in. Oh the joys.

While H is rolling all over the place, he is still not crawling (thank God!) or sitting yet. The crawling I can deffinetly wait for. The sitting... That needs to happen sooner rather than later. He is quickly out growing his infant carrier. And will outgrow it by length before weight. And after letting him sit in a cart this weekend... Well let's just say we are all happier and more comfortable in the carrier right now.

Oh my I have a handsome man on my hands. People stop me to tell me how handsome he is. Every time I drop him off for daycare, she is amazed by how sweet and beautiful he is. And I am not gonna lie, I think he is the cutest baby in the world, but I am partial =)

We are still doing cloth diapers while at home. And I am making a majority of his baby food. I love it. I love saving money on food and diapers. Makes me happy!!

I love my little family!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Mid November Catch Up

So it is the middle of November and the month has already flown by.

We have passed my Dad, Mom, and Brother's birthday. It's 3 days until my birthday and 10 days until Thanksgiving.

I'm checking back in with my November goals because I feel like I'm not going to finish them.

On to November:
  • Send out Birthday card/present to my Dad and Brother. Hmm... Dad check (plus he was on vacation so he didn't know his card was late) Brother....Oops! No only do I not have his phone number, I did not send a card, and all I did was Facebook him Happy Birthday. I'm crossing my fingers that I have his address so I can send a late card.
  • De-clutter the garage and/or spare closet  Closet is mostly cleaned out, and we have gotten rid of all expired car seats! SCORE! 
  • Re-organize hall closet with the sheets placed in the pillow case {my addiction to Pintrest is paying off!} Nope... But since Hubs is playing XBox and I have no shows on Hulu...that closet is MINE. 
  • No Spend November!! Well... No spend? We sorta failed that. But we have put what I expected into savings (which will then be transferred to the credit card). So no spend... Fail. But we did WAY better than October!
  • Christmas Shop!! I have checked off a few people. Mostly the kids, and a few grandparents. I'm glad we did family pictures in September, because most everyone is getting a framed picture from us!
  • Finish up frames! {this is a must...it's getting a bit ridiculous that it's not finished} Fail. Oops! Still need a glue gun and clips...Home Depot run is necessary. 
  • Make pears for H? {he loves them...not sure if I will be making them or not...} Fail.
Hmm... So it looks like I need to get a little more organized about Christmas to see what I still need to shop for. Plus what I want to bake. I'm going to cross the hall closet off the list tonight plus mail my brother a birthday card. No Spend November is back in place and we are going to work on the next 15 days of being CASH ONLY. Plus I am adding pears to my grocery list for Sunday and that will be one more thing checked off.

One thing I did do great at? My mama's birthday present was here and waiting for her BEFORE her birthday. All ready and waiting for her when she arrived. This is the only present so far that has made it on time. Plus having my mom here was a birthday present for me. She entertained H, got up with him all weekend for all of his middle of the night feedings, went shopping for my birthday with me, and I just generally had the best time with her. I love having my mama visit!

Also, last time I posted I was feeling pretty uninspired in my home. J and I talked it over, and we will be making some changes. Josh announced on FB that we wanted to sell our couches (a sectional and a love seat). Within a day we had both sold. The sectional for $400 and the love seat for $300. We will be taking this $700 and buying just one couch and we have decided to go with Ikea. And I have no idea how I found this Tightwad Chic, but this lady is an Ikea genius. She gets all of her big (and small) purchases from Ikea in the "as-is" section at about 50-75% off. Um... Hello! That is exactly what we need for our living room make over! I am so excited to have found Tightwad Chic and her Ikea tips. Too bad she hasn't posted since 2009... I'm hoping they still have their as-is section!!!

Recently J and I bought a new printer with our credit card point. We were super stoked to finally be able to print at home. We finally receive our printer, hook it up, and find out the the processing system on my Mac (that I bought just over a year ago) is too outdated to work with the printer. So we fork over the $30 to upgrade to Leopard something or other only to find out that now our system is too updated to be compatible and the printer company will be coming out with a upgrade soon....Ugh!!! Still no printing going on in this house. 

So that's it folks... I am getting on with my November goals, am super excited for our new couch (and then our new chairs), one day I will be able to print things on my sweet new printer, and November is flying by WAY too fast. 


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Design Star I am not...

With all this pintrest-ing I am doing I find myself looking around my home (or closest) and wishing that my life looked a little more put together. That things were a little more classy and less...we are just out of college and can't afford crap. Mind you, we are not broke college students but we certainly feel this way. We have a 4 year old couch that we would love to get rid of. When we bought it, I loved it. I did not however realize that this couch would be nearly impossible to clean. The cushions don't come off, so you can't just throw them in the wash. Also, apparently there is a type of microfiber that you cannot wash with water. And should you need to clean anything off your couch, the water in anything will leave very sweet water spots.

We also have 2 lamps in our living room because there is no overhead light. The only overhead light comes from out "dining" room which kind of flows in to the living room area. These 2 lamps hardly put out any light. With is being dark when we leave for the morning and also when we come home from work,  it would be nice to have a little light in the area we spend the most time in.

So along with our couch that is driving me crazy, we also have some very Wal-Mart Special furniture. Mainly two short bookcases that have been screwed together to make behind the couch shelving, and a squares within a square shelving unit holding a bunch of junk. The one thing that we still really like in our living room is {another} Wal-Mart Special entertainment center. And no, it is not real wood, it is fake wood laminate, but it looks nice and is holding together for now.

I know that we need to get rid of stuff. But I have a hard time either finding a place to store, or just tossing out things like photo albums, books (not good books, but like Christian "chick-lit"), little odds and ends such as nail files, polish, cords, mini lotions, and other random stuff. Also a collection of Friends DVD's that I haven't even touched in YEARS. I have a hard time figuring out what to do with this stuff, and I am sure that anyone reading this would probably be saying "Throw that crap out, you freaking hoarder!"

My goal is to make a decorating budget. New couch, chair, storage, and DECORATIONS. Pictures, picture frames, a lamp that actually puts out light and storage. Something functional and practical for our growing family with a "soon" to be mobile toddler (that day is coming sooner than I am prepared for!!).  But I would also like it to be pretty. And I am not sure that I can accomplish everything I am wanting and needing on an ikea budget.

All suggestions and comments are welcomed! I have no idea how to make my dreams come alive.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Emergency Preparedness

For the last two years I have been hearing of CRAZY storms that are hitting the Eastern Coast. Lots of snow, power outages and craziness. And while the pretty new reporter is telling me that there are people with out power and will not have power for days I find myself thinking...What if this was my family? What would we do? How would we stay warn? What would we eat?

And you want to know my answer? Um... I don't know.

And so this leads me to believe that I should have a plan. I should figure out what we need, and get it together. And the planner in me tells me that I should have a spreadsheet and probably a checklist.

So while I may not have those answers today... I am putting it on my November goals. By November 30th I will have a plan. And a spreadsheet!


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

November Goals

Oh November you are a crazy month. Not only is it birthdays for every member of my immediate family, but it is also Thanksgiving, which leads into the Christmas season and then New Years. This time of year FLIES by and I am just not ready. So I am going to continue with my goals in hopes that it keeps me on track...

Here is how I did in October:

  • Take Hyatt's too small clothes to the pregnancy clinic  DONE! =)
  • Sand, paint, and finish my thrift store frames (thank you pintrest!)  Uh... Partially done. Sanded and painted. I just need a glue gun and clips and I am SET 
  • De-clutter the downstairs of my house and DO something with the crap.  Uh... I got rid of an expired car seat. And I cleared off the top of the dryer so there is somewhere to set the car seat and diaper bag out of the way every day. I'm gonna say fail on this one. 
  • Stay on top of the finances because there won't be as much money coming in.  Done =) Great month!
  • ENJOY all of the extra time I have with my sweet baby.  DONE!! I so enjoyed our special alone time. I was very tired, but he is so fun. Months 5-6 are awesome! Love =) {minus teething}
  • Make apples for H  DONE =) Super easy. I am so glad I am making most of his food. I really enjoy it and while I don't think he can tell, it is good for him too!
So my easy goals were just that...Easy. I can probably attribute most of the de-cluttering and not finishing my frames to not using my time wisely... Darn you Psych... Catching up on old episodes is really cutting into my spare time!!

On to November:
  • Send out Birthday card/present to my Dad and Brother. Plus make sure gift and card is ready for Mom's visit. {Uh... Dad's is going to be late...Not off to a great start! Thankfully it will be there when he is back from vacation...hopefully.}
  • De-clutter the garage and/or spare closet {get rid of expired car seat for sure!}
  • Re-organize hall closet with the sheets placed in the pillow case {my addiction to Pintrest is paying off!}
  • No Spend November!! As prearranged with J - if it isn't in the budget it will have to wait. Minus the extra money that will be transfered to savings and then I have plans... =)
  • Christmas Shop!! While I am buying all these birthday presents buy for: Mom (XMAS), MoLaw (BDay and XMAS), D (Dad's new Fiance), plus possibly a few small things for my besties. Oh! And the grandparents. {Already have ideas in mind!}
  • Finish up frames! {this is a must...it's getting a bit ridiculous that it's not finished}
  • Make pears for H? {he loves them...not sure if I will be making them or not...}
  • Emergency Preparedness Plan {I love me some spreadsheet action!}
Since last month didn't go so fabulous I am going to stop there. And I am feeling a bit type A with how excited I just got over crossing things off...


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

5 Reasons Why My Life is Just a Little Crazy

 Life is just nuts here!! So should any one be feeling neglected, don't worry! You aren't the only one. I think the only people not neglected in my life right now are bald. (AKA my adoring husband and adorable son) Sorry =)

5) I talk on a phone 8+ hours a day. And while I love it, I have no desire to talk to anyone after work. (Not counting husbands)

4) As soon as I wake up until I lay my little head in bed, I am moving or doing something.

3) If I am not doing something like cleaning, or playing, or getting crap done I will soon have a noisy and or fussy baby to attend to. This is especially true should my phone ring. You can bet your bottom dollar I am not going to get thru that phone call with out something happening and having to hang up.

2) If I happen to find myself with 5 minutes of spare time, it is probably not going to be spent catching up with someone. It will probably be spent shaving my legs because I don't have time to do that on a regular basis.

1) Speaking of, oh man is it hard to shower these days. One day, I will be able to actually take a bath again let alone shower with out peeking out to make sure the little guy is still where I left him. Hello life with a little rolly polly bald man. (P.S. I am talking about my son, not some weird guy!)

And Bonus: We have no real friends here (or not many people we consider good friends) and no family. So for the most part is it all J and I all the time. This means no breaks, no time out, not getting away from the regular craziness of grown up life. And that is working for now. I am not complaining, just stating the facts! =)

I love my crazy life.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

What Work Ups Have Taught Me

While J was only gone for about 3 weeks life got a little crazy there. Between the lack of sleep, crazy work schedules, and crazy daycare schedule I thought I was losing my marbles. And so I think what I've learned is that not only do I need to have a plan, but I need to have a back up plan. And then possibly a back up for my back up plan. I need to be a bit more organized, and stay on top of things a little bit better.

Firstly we need to find consistant daycare. And sadly this may mean that we have to go with a more expensive day care center as opposed to in home care. We really loved our first provider and haven't been thrilled with our second one. We are still contemplating if we would like to just find someone new or go to the center.

Secondly, we need to find back up care. (Actually before that, I need to get my hourly paperwork back from our current provider!) Possibly a friend who stays at home? I bet they would do it, I just have to ask. Maybe I will butter them up with some fall treats...

Thirdly I need to stay on track. Regardless of if it is finances, or the weekly shopping, or just keeping up on housework. A little planning goes a long way.

Anyone have any advice for surviving deployment? I know J is leaving again in a month or two so I need to be prepared!! Like any good boy scout!


Saturday, October 29, 2011

My blossoming addiction

Oh. My. Gosh. I am talking about pintrest yet again. Seriously, I have NO idea what I am doing, but I LOVE everything. And I repin (I am not terribly sure what that means) so many things that I am just in love with! I keep clicking and clicking and clicking. This is AMAZING.

Down side? I really want to buy lots of things. Which doesn't really jive with the hubs and I's "no spend November" plan.

Upside? I am headed to the flea market. Again, I have no idea what that is, but it will be an experience! Plus, I am finishing my frames now that my hands are a little more free with my handsome hubby home.

Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into??

Friday, October 28, 2011

Random Updates

Terribly random, but updates none the less.

  • My handsome hubby is home!! 2 weeks early! And just in time. I was one tired Mama! He took over the last two nights and I have been able to catch up on some much needed sleep. Love having him here. He is like my night in shining armor.
  • Hyatt has officially cut 2 teeth now, and Kaylee might be my new BFF. A washcloth dipped in apple juice and then frozen has become the best thing in my world right now. And the only thing Mr Crabcake will chew on. Yum-o! Thank you for that! Also, Amanda who suggested using the mesh thingy with frozen food helps but maybe not necessesarily with teething. He just likes to eat out of it. Frozen or not!
  • EMHE is on tonight!!!! In my home town!! AHHHH!!! I can't wait! You should watch it!
  • Work is insane. Crazy ladies yell at me in some language I can't understand, people call me dumb because they have no idea what they are talking about (just so you know, construction and demo debris and trash are NOT the same thing), old people just call to talk to you, and people I work with a nuts. I am hoping this is because of Halloween because things are not normally this weird and bad. And I am generalizing here, but oh.em.gee....Californians are wackados about their garbage! That being said, I love my job and I love that they thing I am awesome enough (or a sucker...lets go with awesome) to handle multiple areas instead of the normal 1 area. 
Whew... I am so glad it's Friday!! This weekend I will be finishing up my 1st pintrest project, going to the pumpkin patch, and checking out the local famers market. Since I never have luck thrifting, I'm not holding my breath, but I'm secretly hoping I find something awesome!!


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Our fabulous life...

I've posted a lot lately about how hard things are or have been. But as I sit here on Sunday morning, taking the ferry back home, sipping my coffee an listening to Air1 I realize how blessed I am.
I have a husband who I love so much that I miss him no matter how long he is gone. A week, a month, or a year. I have an amazing family that I hate to leave. And it's not just my family or j's family it is both. How blessed am I?
And how blessed am I to have a baby who is so happy that I am freaked out because he cried for over an hour (teething...) Crying is unusual is our house.
The only thing that I can attribute all these amazing things to is God. I truly believe he does not give us more than we can handle. And turning to Him in the good as well as the bad is what keeps me together.

I am so blessed,

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Oh the joys. Yesterday we found H's first tooth popping thru. And even with shots and traveling he was a happy camper. Today? Holy crab cake. No joke, cried for an hour and a half straight. Nothing helped. And he is refusing Tylenol. He doesn't want to chew because it hurts or eat or suck. And to get him Tylenol (which is the only thing that give him relief) I have to stick the dropper in the back of his mouth and he gags, coughs, cries big giant tears, and screams. So fun for everyone.

Anyone have any teething tips? Or something he will chew on? So far his best teether toy is my finger. And that doesn't work for long.

Hopefully this will be over as fast as it came on.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Oh.My.Gosh...Pintrest could be a serious addiction. Can I just say that I love pretty much EVERYTHING I have found on there. It makes me want to re-do my whole entire house, plus my wardrobe, and of course all of my accessories.

I am still working on my frames (the idea I got from pintrest) and sadly I haven't gotten much further. Tonight I am forcing myself to finish sanding all my frames...and maybe tomorrow I can paint them. However it probably won't happen till next week. But I am SO STOKED to know that my MoLaw picked up my pictures and will be delivering them this weekend. {happy dance!} 

I still have this wonderful idea of having Lily and Marshall's blue door headboard for my bed. 

At the same time, while I am drooling over all these amazing home decors and layouts I am picturing my home being perfectly spotless with everything in it's place, and sparkly clean. And let me tell ya sista...it's not gonna happen. My house is never spotless clean, everything is not tucked away in its proper spot all at the same time, and my home never looks like a cover of a magazine. However, my home IS filled with love and comfort and I think that counts for something =)

I'm going to go drool over some more things...


P.S. I am LOVING the yarn and flower door wreaths. They look super easy...I may attempt one...someday.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Boy Scouts were right...

You should always be prepared. And sadly, I have not  been prepared these last few days.

Being a "sometimes single" working mom with a baby in day care is driving me a bit bananas. I took for granted how easy it was to schedule when you had someone playing backup. If J had to work late, no big deal because I could pick up the baby. Or if I had to work early, J could take the baby in to daycare. Not so much now. When there is a mandatory 5:45 meeting, guess who is emailing their boss saying that daycare doesn't open that early? And when daycare lets you know that they have to close early to do a state (or military) mandated class? Guess who is talking to their boss about switching shifts. {It's me, in case you didn't get that}

I hate being a "problem child" at work. I like to have all of my ducks in a row, show up on time, do a great job, and leave everyone thinking about rainbows and unicorns. And even more than being a problem child, I hate being a flake. I hate having to tell my boss, oh so thanks for changing my schedule this week, but my daycare is actually closing early one day NEXT week. (That would have been nice to know this morning when she said Wednesday!!)

In my job, there are a lot of probing questions that you ask to make sure you are getting the right product for the customer. I guess I am going to have to start implementing those techniques into my everyday life. Great...next thing you know, I will be using my phone voice when I talk to people. "It will be just a moment while I am looking into this.... Please bear with me...I do appologize..."

I need to channel my inner boy scout. I need to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. I need to get a little bit better at this single mom thing. It is way harder than I ever realized. It makes me with that I was home and had close family and friends to pick up the slack (which reminds me, this is the kind of friend I want to be for people, someone they can count on and someone they can call when they are in a bind).

The one good thing about this week so far? Apparently I do a good enough job to be cross trained in other departments. So on top of a little bit of personal life stress, I am adding a little bit of work stress and learning something new. I feel like I am just learning to juggle...and I went straight from juggling balls to juggling knives.

Thank God for coffee,

Happy 6 Month Birthday!

How is it possible that my little ninja is half a year old? I am certain that he is still like 6 weeks. It has gone by too fast!!

So many things have changed in the last month. On your 5th month birthday you rolled from your tummy to your back. You did this a few times and then stopped. Then about 2 weeks later, you rolled from your back to your belly. We couldn't keep you off your belly. But it seemed that you had forgotten how to roll back over. And now, just short of a month later, you are rolling all over the place! You are no longer a stationary baby. You roll to where you want to go. And then there is the scooting. I'm not sure you are doing it on purpose yet, but you certainly scoot, or "army crawl." Slow down bubba! I am not ready for you to crawl!!

We have also started you on solids. We knew that daddy would be leaving soon, and one day you showed an interest in food and we just jumped on it. You have tried sweet potatoes, butternut squash, oatmeal cereal, rice cereal, apples, bananas, and prunes. The only real reject has been bananas. You made all sorts of disgusting faces and then gagged. And I laughed so hard! Sorry bubba!!

Right now, you are getting up once during the night at about 2 am. And then you are up for the day around 6. And I am one tired mama. What is sleeping in again? I am not so happy to admit that I have been pulling you into bed with me around 4am every morning. You wake up right around then, and I am just too tired to try rocking you back to sleep or anything else. And you sleep with me until about 6, or 7am if we are lucky!!

You are still the happiest baby ever. You have the best belly laugh, and you really get to laughing every time you are naked. So diaper changes and clothes changes take forever because I can't help but tickle you and make you laugh really hard. Also, it is never quiet in the house anymore when you are awake. You babble babble babble...and if it ever gets quiet, I know there is something wrong. Like you have rolled into the bookcase... =)

My little man, you are the light of my life. Your daddy and I love you so much more than we ever thought possible. I was showing you pictures of your daddy today, and you loved that. He misses you more than you could know.

I love you baby H!


P.S. You are 16lbs 10.2 oz and 25.98 inches. 25% for height and weight, and your head is 75-90%...Same as usual!! Perfection!

Monday, October 17, 2011


Does anyone else watch the show Wipeout? That show makes me crack up!!

Instead of talking to my hubs before bed, I have been bringing my computer into bed and watching TV before falling asleep. My favorite choice? Wipeout. It puts me in a good mood before bed. And, I'm not going to lie, going to bed by myself is my least favorite part about being alone. I am a giant fraidy-cat.

This show looks like so much fun. And it looks less painful than it probably is in person. I think I would try it though.

That's all I've got


P.S. Happy 6months H!!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

One is the loneliest number..

So J has been gone about a week and so far so good. Until this weekend. Being alone is...lonely! I've tried to keep busy, but it just isn't the same.

The week was fine. I have been so busy that by 9pm I am dropping into bed exhausted. I haven't had time to relax, let alone be alone with my thoughts. Then came the weekend. Saturday was busy. House cleaning, Costco, Target, donating baby clothes, cleaning some more. Then today we were up early, at church, grocery shopped, and just sat around. And it gave me time to let my guard down. And I really miss my husband.

I am thankful that this will be over before we know it. I am trying to spend my time wisely and keep busy.  So here I am trying to focus on the positive:

I've balanced my checkbook
I've donated those baby clothes (and still have more to go through!)
I've spent some time with friends
and I have worked a ton.

I'm just going to keep trucking on.


Status: Outcast

Do you ever feel like you are on the outside looking in? I have to say, this is not a normal feeling for me. But in the last two days on two separate occasions I have felt a little outcast-ish.

Yesterday, I got a text from a friend up here saying to come by their car wash and help support one of the organizations up here. I was out and about so I decided to stop by (and was secretly hoping that they would kill the spider that is living in my side mirror). I waited in line for about 15 minutes to get my car washed. And the friend that invited me sat and talked to the person behind me for about 10 of those minutes, then comes up to my car and waves and walks on by. I also knew about 3 other people there washing cars (mostly J's friends) and only 1 talked to me. Hmm... guess they really are J's friends and not mine.

Then today, I check my facebook and my dad's girlfriend posted "I'm Engaged!!!" And this is really cool news and I am terribly excited for them (I am assuming that she means engaged to my dad). But when I talked to my dad on Friday, he certainly didn't mention getting engaged. Uh... not going to lie but I am a little disappointed that I found out via FB. Can I also say that I found out that my dad had some skin cancer removed from my brother over a month after it happened. Um....Just because I live 12 hours away does not mean I'm not part of the family!!!

Ugh... There is a part of me that wishes that things were different. But I'm not quite sure how to change it.

Feeling frustrated,

Monday, October 10, 2011

October Goals

Since I seem to have a bit more time on my hands for the rest of this month I've come to the conclusion that I should probably finish some of the things I have started. I am giving myself until October 31st to finish the following:

  • Take Hyatt's too small clothes to the pregnancy clinic
  • Sand, paint, and finish my thrift store frames (thank you pintrest!)
  • De-clutter the downstairs of my house and DO something with the crap.
  • Stay on top of the finances because there won't be as much money coming in
  • ENJOY all of the extra time I have with my sweet baby.
  • Make apples for H
Totally do-able. I have to start somewhere. And so tonight, I'm balancing the paycheck and staying on top of that. And then I am going to sand another frame tonight. And I'm in bed by 9pm.

Is it just me, or does anyone else have trouble getting things done?


And P.S. Dear favorite son - Please please please sleep more tonight. Up at 10, 1, 3, 5, and 6:30 does not make Mama a happy camper at work. 

Your  crazy tired working mom.

Friday, October 7, 2011

A big ol' case of want-itis

I hate when this happens. I feel like I want everything. And it all cost's big time cash that I just don't have.

I have an itch to redecorate my house. Revamp my wardrobe, plus shoes (ditto to hubby's wardrobe!). Buy a sweet new SUV and get rid of my very basic sedan. Plus an iPad. A new dining table and chairs. My list goes on and on and on.

But, like most everyone else, I can't just go out and buy whatever I have a hankering for. And to be honest, even if I could I would probably regret it later. (Buyers remorse anyone?)

Maybe I should write down a wish list and start working on checking it all off...

Is there anything you've been wanting?


Wednesday, October 5, 2011


We have been SO blessed to have had the most wonderful childcare provider for my little ninja. He has been literally next door to us every day that I have been at work. And sadly it is going to come to a close in less than a week. She is taking a new job and we have to find someone new. And to be honest, she is freaking hard to replace.

One thing that I loved about our neighbor is that A) she is our neighbor and a friend and B) her house is freaking spotless and chloroxed on a regular basis. and C) she loves and adores my son.

I am so sad to be looking for someone new because she is really irreplaceable. So right now we are on the hunt for someone new, and they just aren't stacking up. And they are much further away than next door. I am praying for the right person to come into our lives.

And hopefully they come soon! Because we have less than a week to get H into a new home.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So not ready to do this alone

J is leaving soon. Way too soon. He leaves in 2 days for home to fix up our rental for the next tenant. Then he comes back on Saturday only to leave on Sunday for a short deployment.

Firstly I am sad to see my husband gone. I love his company and I married him for a reason. I LOVE to be around him. Secondly I am sad because being a single mom is hard. I got a little taste of it a few weeks ago when J was on nights. It's hard doing it all. Work, exercise, dinner, play time, bath time and bed time. And fitting all of that into about 2 hours is even harder.

So it's back to cooking on the weekends and heating things up during the week. Running errands and shopping only on the weekend.

Thankfully I have lots planned for the next month. There is a College football game I will be meeting J's parents for in Seattle, then possibly my besties are coming up for Halloween and then a few weeks after that my mom will be coming to visit and J will already be back.

I know that this will go by fast. My next worry is that now he is on the work up schedule, he will be deploying for real soon. And that will come faster than I would like.

My fears are that I won't be able to talk with J. That I will miss him like crazy and not have family around to keep me busy like when he was in basic. That I will be so tired between work and taking care of H and our home that I would have time to stop and smell the roses. I am sad that J will miss out on some of Hyatt's firsts.

Okay, can't talk about this anymore...Gonna cry!!


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Grocery Shopping Week 3

This week will be a short one when it comes to dinners. J will be heading home to fix up our rental later this week so there will be quite a few days that it will only be me for dinner. And since I don't eat that much and can eat pretty much the same thing till it's gone, there will be fewer dinners than normal.

Here it goes:
tortillas (for wraps not burritos)
sharp cheddar
chicken tenders
spicy chicken tenders (yup, I'm lazy!)
baby bell cheese
angel hair pasta
ground turkey (3)
ground beef (3)
soups (3)
honey mustard dressing
roasted garlic vinaigrette
salad dressing

Total $57.47

Here's what I will be making:
spicy chicken wraps with honey mustard
quiche (with left over meat from last week)
pesto chicken with pasta
chicken spinach casserole

That's the plan. And if needed, I'll be making hamburger pie. I keep thinking about it, and never make it but maybe this week. I have all the stuff so it's a backup dinner. Plus I have some freezer meals that need to be eaten...

Not a ton of stuff for lunches but I think that it will be easy to make more wraps, sandwiches, maybe a left over piece of quiche, and if needed soup.

Yum! I am starving, so it all sounds good NOW!


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Oh bother...

Hello real Navy life, here you are walking back into my life,  and I can't say that I am terribly happy about it. But this is what we signed up for.

J is heading out on his first work up soon. He will be gone for about a month. And this could have come at a better time. Seriously. I was super excited about having an extra pay check this month and now with having to buy a plane ticket, then switch plane ticket (twice at $150 a pop) plus buying anything that is needed for our rental house, plus everything that J needs or "needs" to go on the boat we have more than spent the "extra" money. Fabulous. Oh and then there is the cable that we "had to have" with the NFL Red Zone that was necessary. I am pretty sure we are hemorrhaging money. Freaking fabulous.

Ugh. I am ready to just pay for it and get it over with at this point. Nothing I can do now.

Let's do this!

P.S. As much as I really didn't want to go back to having digital cable, it has been kind of nice. TV Shows on demand and lots of channels. And I know there are things that J needs to have while he is away, and also things that will be really nice for him to have. I'm just ticked that everything was not budgeted for and WAY more expensive than anticipated. Bleck.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Well Hello Monday

Yes, I do realize that Monday is almost over. But here I am still in the midst of it all.

H had his first meal tonight! I thought we would wait until he was officially 6 months, but he showed an interest today and we jumped on it. I think most of it ended up on his chin (and in his neck folds) and belly, but he was getting the hang of it.
      {we did 2Tbs oatmeal cereal and 4Tbs formula. I think next time I will make it thicker.}
J had some strange new today that I can't really talk about but will be sure to fill you in if anything comes of it.
Have I complained enough about how much I hate having a mortgage? Life would be easier in some ways with out it. Sigh. Oh well.
Work is a little nuts. My only friend from work is leaving at the end of the week. Sad to see her go. I'm gonna be bored. Who am I going to talk to? Customers? Oh. Yeah. That's what I'm paid to do.

No running for this little lady. But we are eating healthier, so I'll count that as a win.

That's all. Life just keeps going.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Grocery Shopping Week 2

So this week's total was $39.75. I can't believe I came in under $40. This should be enough to get us through the week. We have several soups planned and those go a loooong way so that will help. Here is what we bought:

campbell's soups (5) for lunches
stewed tomato's (1)
1/2 & 1/2
frozen corn
frozen green beans
lean pockets (1)
ground turkey (1)
italian sausage
hearts of romain
green onions
5# bag of potatoes
coleslaw mix
chicken stock

And this is what we will be making:
Loaded Baked Potato Soup (thank you Kait!)
Spicy Italian Sausage
Beef and Veggi Soup
Chicken and salad
Lettuce Cups

For lunches, it will be mainly leftovers with the lean pockets and canned soups just in case.

Again, I have a lot of pantry staples that fill in for the things that I didn't shop for like pasta, onions (from last week), chicken, teriyaki sauce and what not. And I can not make a meal for just two people (especially the soups and lettuce cups!) So I have enough for lunches and leftovers. And should I have lots of leftovers of the lettuce cups, I will be making frittata's with those (that is my favorite thing to do with leftover lettuce cups). We are stocked up on eggo's and cereal so breakfasts are good to go.

What are you eating this week? I am always up for new inexpensive recipes!


Saturday, September 24, 2011


I feel like I cannot be the only one who feels this way. Friendships were so "easy" in high school. Yes there was the crazy drama stuff that I am forgetting about now, but seeing my friends every day, going to class with the same people made it so easy to not only make friends, but keep those friendships going.

Since high school, my best of best friends moved 4.5 hours from home (5 hours from where I am now), I have moved to a town where I knew basically no one except for the people that my hubs met at work. I have met people at work, but no one that I really click with.

I miss my besties. I feel like we are so far apart in more than just distance. The three of us have very busy lives. It's easy to get caught up in life and just let these friendships go by the wayside. I miss girl time. I love my husband and I love my babe, but I NEED something else. I keep waiting to meet this new friend, and so far no dice.

One day.

Anyone feel this way? Or is it just me?


Friday, September 23, 2011

PPD Part 2

You can read PPD Part 1 here. It was getting terribly long, and I decided to break it into two sections.

Here is part 2.

So I finally decided to see my doctor. And I was terribly embarrassed. And of course I cried and cried there. And I was so embarrassed to be crying in front of not only the guy who delivered my baby and saw me at nearly every single doctors appointment but also in front of the nurse that I saw at nearly every week as well. And I know that PPD happens, but I couldn't believe that this was now me.

Thankfully, my doctor was wonderful. He felt that this really would go away. He explained things to me in a way that made me feel like I wouldn't always be this way. I would get better. I would be myself again. He prescribed a medicine to me, and I was so excited to be on my way to myself again. At the same time, I was terribly scared. I was starting a brand new job in less than 5 days, my mom was coming in to town, and I felt like I couldn't fake my way thru this.

I took my pills as prescribed with the highest of hopes. And let me tell you I was sorely disappointed. I had every single side effect that you could get from this medicine. But at the time, I didn't even think about side effects. Most of these side effects are also the same signs as early pregnancy. And I was freaking out. Here I have a nearly 10 week old baby and I could have another on the way. I can not even begin to tell you how scared I was. On top of being scared I was terribly sick. I could hardly move off the couch. And finally it dawns on me - side effects. So here I am googling my medicine, and what do I find? I have every. single. side effect. From nausea to blurry vision. Lovely.

*side note - Thank God for my mom. I could not have taken care of H like this. I was sicker than a dog. And thankfully she was there in time to take care of the both of us.

I call my doctor who tells me to stop taking it immediately (duh!) and he says to wait until Monday for the meds to be totally out of my system before starting me on something new. And he prescribes me the "kiddie" version to hopefully keep these side effects away.

(Here is a little time line for you: I had my original appointment on Tuesday, started taking the pills Wednesday morning, stopped taking the pills on Thursday and was sick through Sunday.)

I was a mess. I start my new job on Monday. How on earth am I going to make it when I feel like I have the worst flu ever (among other things). I prayed and prayed that I would be healed enough for work. I was scared to death to take anything else because there was no way I could try and work while feeling this way.

And to be perfectly honest, I am not sure why or how my life worked out this way, but one day on my new job and I was back to my old self. No medicine, no supplements, just some honest to goodness conversations outside the house. I remember walking back into my house after my first day of work with a smile on my face excitedly announcing to J that it was me again. I was happy! For the first time in weeks!

And then I felt a little guilty. How could I have hated being at home so much? How could I have enjoyed leaving my baby boy with someone else?

I don't have any answers for any of those questions. I do know that I have one of the best day care providers that I could have asked for. She loves him, which was exactly what I was looking for. I love being outside my home. I still don't have that great of friends here, but being around people all day long make up for the friendships I am missing. I truly am enjoying my son so much more that I thought I could. I love being a mom. I would not change my life for anything, and I am so happy to have H in my life. I couldn't imagine life with out him.

Like I said earlier, I am not really sure why I felt the need to share this. All I can hope is that someone can relate to this. Life is not always what we plan for it to be. It is not always rainbows and unicorns. But if we don't learn from the hard times, they were for nothing.


P. S. I am not quite sure how this fits in to my story, but PPD took a toll on my marriage. I wasn't fun to be around. I was upset all the time over every thing. And I am so thankful that I have a husband who loved me thru it. In so many ways I would be lost with out him. And I know how hard this was for him to see me not be my self. How hard it was for him to take care of the both of us. And how stressful life was between work, a crazy wife, and a crying baby. He truly is the most special man in the world to me. It wasn't (and isn't) always easy. But it's always worth it.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

PPD Part 1

I am not really sure where to start here.

I guess, first off I never thought in a million years that I would be any sort of depressed after I had my baby. I expected the normal baby blues, but I didn't expect to not feel like myself. My pregnancy went perfectly. I could not have asked for anything better. Labor, not exactly what I had hoped for, but all things considered, it could have been worse!

And then we go home with our sweet baby boy. Whom I adore. And everything started off normal. I wasn't really sure what to expect. My life had completely turned upside down. I think I had the normal  baby blues, and then it just never got better. In fact, it got worse.

I feel like at about 3 weeks things just started to go down hill. And I am not real sure exactly what happened. I think that a lot of it had to do with issues breast feeding. And maybe some of it had to do with a lack of support that I would have had if we were home.

I rarely left the house, I had a screaming baby, milk coming out of my ears, none of my "friends" came to visit. Basically the only people I saw on my maternity leave was family and a few close friends who came up to visit. And I lived for these visits.

 It seemed like suddenly my life was just spiraling. I couldn't wait for J to get home so I could have a break from the baby. I couldn't nap during the day, I was exhausted. I felt deprived from my old life where everything was easy. And I felt like I had no one to turn to. I didn't feel comfortable enough with anyone (family or friend) to REALLY share how I was feeling. To share that I really didn't love this new life I had.

And then there was the pressure that i felt (or rather probably imagined) that I should be enjoying my baby just as much as my friends with their new babies. And I just didn't. I was struggling. In so many ways.

I just wasn't myself. And I couldn't admit it. I thought that I could just shake it off, so to speak. It took me nearly 9 weeks to admit that something was wrong. I was crying every day. Every time H would eat, he would scream and I would cry. I was a mess. And H was a ball of stress right along with me. And unfortunately I had to hit rock bottom to decide that this was not right and I needed to get help.

*Rock Bottom* J and I were driving back from home and I cried for 4 hours straight. What I was feeling was a combination of sadness to be away from family/friends and so many issues feeding my sweet baby boy. And I finally came face to face with the fact that this just wasn't right. I did not cry for hours on end. And switching my baby from breast to formula should not be the end of the world. I was blowing things out of proportion. And I couldn't help myself.

To be continued...

I am not really sure why I am sharing this. Maybe to get some of this off my chest, maybe to just share with that one person out there that could be reading this to know that it is all okay and you are normal. That this happens to people when they least expect it. That you are not alone, and that while my situation may not be the same as yours, I have been there. And it does get better.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Well, that was a joke!

There are a lot of benefits to being a Navy spouse. And one thing that has been mentioned to me several times was New Parent Support. And I finally gave in and set up an appointment with new parent support.

Today was our appointment and I've got to be honest. I am not sure why she was here. All she really did was listed to us talk about H and how awesome he is. I did not learn anything new (like I thought I would), I did not learn anything about what we could be doing differently to help him developmentally (like I thought we would), and we pretty much just sat around and chatted. And don't get me wrong, that was nice and all. But it was not what I was expecting or wanting to get out of our visit.

I am not sure if I will be seeing her again...I have another appointment in a month. I could see this being nice if J was on deployment and I didn't get out of the house very often, but that is not the case.

We will see...


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Back to normal

J is back working days. And I have to say I am relieved. It's hard being a "single" mom. So much to do all by yourself and not enough hours in the day to get it all done. Especially before the little man's bed time.

One thing that J and I have been working so hard on is to punch our debt in the face. We have been saving and scrimping to get rid of what little credit card debt that we have and then start working on our car loan. (And I can't even think about our house. I am burying my head in the sand a little, but I can't stress about it.) I am proud to say that we paid off J's truck right after I came back from maternity leave, paid off 1 credit card with a 2k balance, and will pay off our last card in less than a year. And that is not including any money that we may (or may not) get back at tax time. And then my car (should we keep it) will be next on the list.

Debt makes me angry. I feel so dumb for using credit cards ever. And I feel even more dumb for buying so many darn new cars. Dumb dumb dumb! If I could go back a few years and not trade in my Scion Xb, I would in a heart beat. And we would have 2 paid off cars =) And let me tell you, we are paying for our mistakes, slowly but surely. But it makes me so happy to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We budget, save, and keep constant track of our money. Well... I'm the obsessive one. Budgets make me happy!

What makes you happy?

P.S. All I want to do, is just go blow a pay check (or two) on a new wardrobe and home decor. Ugh...Wish I was thrifty!

Monday, September 19, 2011


Worst part about having a baby? All my hair is falling out. I am pretty sure I am going to be bald. This part stinks.

That's all.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Grocery Shopping

After reading a few posts from ladies and their grocery shopping (most recently Kait), I thought I would join in and show you what we buy and what we make with our food.'

I generally shop once a week. That is really all I have time for. We also try to make most of our meals on Sunday's because with J working nights, I just really don't have the time to make a huge meal every night of the week. And I really hate to buy fast food.

I budget $120 for the 1st and the 15th, so $240 for the whole month. This doesn't include what we buy at Costco, which is budgeted for differently. We do 95% of our shopping at the commissary. It's generally cheaper and their produce is pretty good.

So here it goes (no picture, the hubs was super productive and started putting it all away before I could snap a picture)

Tortilla chips
Oriental noodles (3)
Triscuts (2)
Baby Cereal (2) (just getting prepared for when we decide H will start solids)
Cereal (2)
Mashed Potato's (6)
Earl Gray tea
Bay Leaves
Cinnamon Sticks
Chicken breasts
Shredded carrots
Apple butter
Zucchini (3)
Green cabbage
Sweet Potato's (4)
1 bag sweet onions

Grand total $56.91

Our meals for the week will be:
Hamburger Pie
Spam Fried Rice

This is J's last week of night check and they will be doing a pot luck at the end of the week and they requested we make a few of the Chammoro (or Guam-ish) recipes (okay all of the Chammoro recipes) I know how to make.
Lumpia is basically a twist on an egg roll
Pansit is the lumpia "guts" with oriental noodles
Kelliguin is like a spicy chicken salad made with lemon juice and peppers.
The the carnitas will be like pork burritos.

There is so much food in my house right now. No need for separate lunches, we will be eating leftovers for sure!

That's what I'm eating this week. What are you eating?

Please ignore my possible misspelling of carnita's. lumpia, pansit, kelliguin, and Chammoro

Friday, September 16, 2011


Oh my dear. Has it really been 5 months? Because I am pretty sure it has only been 5 weeks. Seriously. How on earth does time fly this fast?

Well, my little baby ninja, you are getting so big! At your last appointment you are 14.7 lbs and 24.75 inches long. 25-50% for height and weight and then that darn noggin of yours is still 90th percentile!

You are not yet rolling over, but you are SO CLOSE. You like to get all the way on your side and have both shoulders touching the ground, but then roll your self back over because you know you don't want to be stuck on your tummy. Smart! You are reaching for some of your toys when we hand them to you, and love to stick everything in your mouth. You like to "stand". And you love facing forward when we hold you. Your head is getting so much steadier during tummy time and when we we sit you in your bumbo.

You laugh ALL THE TIME. And you think I am funny, but you think Daddy is HILARIOUS. He seriously cracks you up. You blow raspberries all the time and babble constantly.

At night you are sleeping from 7:30-12:30 eat 4-6oz and then go back to bed again until about 4:30 where you eat another 4-6oz and then go back to bed until you are up for the day at about 6:30. I am missing the days when you slept thru the night, but if you are getting up since you are hungry (which you are!) I don't mind. One day you will sleep thru the night again. But I am thankful you don't ever wake up crying. Every night I wake up to you talking to yourself. I love it!

This week, we sat you in your high chair, and you were so delighted! I'm not sure what tickled you so much about it, but you had so much fun sitting in your big boy chair. We still set you in the bumbo every day or so for a few minutes, and your big ol' head is getting so much steadier! I know mama's who are telling me their babies are sitting in the bumbo easily at like 2 months...not you! You've got lots of brains to hold up!

Well baby ninja, I am so happy that I am your mom. I can't wait to see how you change over the next month.


P.S. Mommy confession: I blame my semi-messy house on my babe. True confession? It would probably look the same regardless of Hyatt.
 Also, I had no idea how big Hyatt's head was until I was changing one of my friend's little boy's clothes. I pulled the onesie over his head and his head just slipped on thru the hold. Not my baby! You have to STRETCH that onesie over my lil ninja's head. You and your 90th percentile head...makes me smile!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Little Bits

Here are a few of the  little bitty things on my mind:

LOVE having J's grandparents here. I was plenty worried about what I was going to do with them, but it has been so relaxing and just NICE. I have love spending time with all of our family that has been visiting this month, and this visit is included in that. I'm gonna be sad to see them go tomorrow =(

Baby ninja is getting SO BIG. He is holding up his head a ton better. We tried out his high chair today and he LOVED it. He was glowing and giggling. I can't wait to start feeding him solid foods.

On that note, he just isn't ready for solids. J and I are waiting for his head control to get a little better, his tongue reflex to go away, and for him to show an interest in our foods. Mainly we are just waiting for him to show an interest now. Like every thing else, he will do it in his own time.

Oh. My. Gosh. In 2 more days I will have a 5 month old. Where on earth has the time gone?

J will only be on nights for a few more weeks. I am excited to get my man back at night! I'd forgotten how nice it is to have help with the babe.

I keep blog stalking people. I love the posts on clothes and what they are wearing (I have no style these days, and if I am being honest I haven't had style for a long while!). I love the PF blogs. And what people are buying at the grocery store. Wow. I'm a stalker!

Have I told you all how much I love being a mom? I kinda left off here when I was having a really hard time. And since going back to work I am a whole new person. I could do a little post on my lovely time with PPD, but that will be another day.

I am so terribly thankful to one of our friends who will be renting our house back home. Such a weight off our shoulders.

That's all folks!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Oh life....

Some days, I just want to curl up on my couch and pretend life isn't out there. That my every worry is taken care of. I wish that I was a child with out a thought for the cares of the world.

But I am not.

I am a grown up. And a wife. And a mommy.

And with growing up comes responsibilities. And pain. And fear.

And my problems seem much more insignificant when I compare them to a family that just lost their darling daughter today. Cancer is not fair. And it seems especially unfair when it strikes a child.

I cannot comprehend the pain and sadness being felt by their family. And I know that she is safe in the hands of our Heavenly Father. And all I can do is pray for peace for her family.

That's all I've got today.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Home is a house with a heart...

Right now, in my little home town Extreme Makeover Home Edition is building one of the most deserving families I know a brand spanking new home. And oh how I wish I could be home right now helping. But I am not and I can only do so much from afar. But what I do want to share with all of you lovelies out there is her blog. She and her friend run a company called Earth Monkeys and they make some of the best baby products I own. And to make a long story short, they had a blog post today about some of what is going on at the site there and there was something that really stuck with me. And that was:
... but it's a place you wanted to be, because of the people.  This is a family filled with love and chaos, but mostly love.
This is the type of home I want to have. This is the type of wife and mother I want to be. Life may be chaotic, it will never be perfect, and there will always be laundry. But when people come into my house, when they meet me and my family, when they become a part of our lives, I want them to feel the love. I want to have a house with a heart. And I want to be the heart of my family. And I have no idea how to do this, but that is where I want to be. It’s part of the person I want to be. 

That's what is on my heart right now, and I just needed to share.


Thursday, September 8, 2011


Sometimes, when it rains it pours... And September is raining family!
Labor day was filled with my family. My aunties and uncle, mom, brother, sunshine, lots of laughter, food, and most of all fun. So many sweet memories made over a terribly short weekend.

This weekend J's family is coming up again. And as usual, their visit will be much too short. This weekend shall be another sunny one. It feels like summer has finally reached my little corner of the world!

The next week J's grandparents will be coming to town. It will be nice to show our little town to a fresh set of eyes. I really enjoy being a tourist in my own town. And it seems as though we never take the time to really explore until we have people visiting.

We have the best of intentions for touring our little town and spending much of the weekends out doors, but something always seems to come up. Generally in the form of lazing on the couch. Oops!

So here I am, enjoying these last few weeks of summer, finally getting my act together and enjoying all there is to enjoy here in our little military town.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Has it really been this long?

Why yes, yes it has been that long. It has been over a month an a half since I last blogged. I have been so busy. Between working, baby, hubby, and just LIFE in general. So how about a little catch up?

Hyatt is 4 and a half months old. And he is still the most amazing little man. I am a tiny bit worried that he isn't rolling over either way yet, but I figure when he want's to start moving and shaking he will. And until then, I am SUPER happy that when I set him somewhere, he stays there.
Oh my goodness this boy talks. All day long he babble babble babbles. And then there are the fingers in his mouth, and the drool, and the blowing spit bubbles. It is drool galore in my house!
And if he could be any cuter, I might just explode. He is so happy all the time. He "angry coos" when he he wakes up in the middle of the night and is hungry. He hardly cries, except when we are starving him to death or he is really tired.

Other than my amazingly sweet son, I am working over 40 hours a week. And I am LOVING my new job. It keeps me busy, I am making a good amount of money (paying off bills baby!), I love talking to people all day long (and then hate being on the phone after work!), and work is such a good thing for me. Snapped me right out of any depression. I love being back to my old self!!

In slightly sadder news, J has been switched to night check so that means very little time with my all time favorite man. This is our first week of the new schedule (hence the time for blogging!) and so far so good. I am attempting to be a little super mom-ish and getting my run on after work, along with cooking dinner, chilling with my little man, and then bath time and down for bed. It's feeling like a lot by myself. But J is here in the morning and we will see each other on weekends.

I am feeling like this is our first real introduction into the Navy. It's not exactly what we planned for, or what we want, but we are rolling with the punches. And I am looking at this as my preview of deployment. And I am feeling lucky to have a preview into what my life will be like as a sort of single mom.

So that is it, hopefully I will be around more often


P.S. Here are a few of my mommy confessions from these first few months for you:
*I am officially "that mom". The one who lets her baby cry because sometimes you just can't come running for every little thing. Someone's  gotta cook dinner!
*I am also the mom who blows off the paci before putting it back in his mouth. No steril sanitizing here!
*Sometimes, in the early morning, I will let my baby talk himself back to sleep just so I can get a few extra minutes.
*While my family was here, Hyatt didn't get a bath for about 4 days. Can you say dirty bird? Oops!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

3 Months

Seriously? Three months? Already? Time flies!

While I am totally loving being a mom and a parent, it is hard in ways that I never imagined. And while I don't really want to get into it (it's a long complicated story that I'm not sure I want to tell), I can say for certain that I have never loved my son or husband more.

My little 3 month old is just over 12 lbs. He has the sweetest personality and theses little quirks that just make me laugh. Bedtime is 8:30 and he will sleep from then until sometime between 4 and 5:30. He wakes long enough to eat and pass back out until 6:30 or 7. He is such a good sleeper! After his bath and some milk, he goes to bed and goes right to sleep. I think he likes his routine as much as we do!

Every morning, I go to get him out of bed when I hear him talking to himself. As soon as I come into view, he lights up into a smile. He is the happiest baby when he wakes up! And he does not get that from me! We swaddle him every night and so when we un-velcro his blanket his arms instantly go into the "touchdown" position. He loves to have his hands by head =)

H is still a little stinker when we feed him. No more boobies for him, we have officially switched to bottles. And I have to say, it makes me a smidgen glad that he fusses just as much either way. It's not just me =) He is still gaining weight well so that makes me glad, he just sometimes needs to talk about his food. And sometimes he talks a lot, loudly. I don't really understand it. But, he knows what he wants and we just aren't sure what it is.

I've gone back to work, and that has made the biggest different in my attitude and mind set. I love seeing people every day, and I LOVE coming home to my boys. I appreciate the time I get to spend with my son, and honestly I am more productive now that I was when I was home every day. I also went back to a new job and I've found that I like it so much more than where I was working previously. It has been such a blessing.

H likes to be on his tummy, but generally wants to fall asleep when he's on it instead of pushing himself up and strengthening his muscles. No signs of rolling over yet, but we have heard a few giggles! He has started batting at some of the toys on his playmat, but I'm not sure if that's more accidental than on purpose. As a mom, I am having a hard time not wondering about when he is going to hit his next "milestone." I know babies all develop differently so I am trying to let my baby grow and play in his own way and not spend any time worrying that he's not developing "on schedule."

I think that's all that is new in our lives! I can't believe how much he has changed in the last three months. And I am SURE I will be saying the same thing in another three months.


Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Last time I left off I was in a really sucky place. And that feels like FOR-EV-ER (lol Sandlot!) ago.

So shortly after my last post, we went home on vacation. And things went down hill with breast feeding. And with that, my emotions were all over the place. By the end of the week, I stopped breast feeding, and was only pumping. And that didn't last long. Now, we are pretty much only formula feeding. I still have a stash of breast milk that we are slowly going thru, but I have to say I am glad that the feeding issues are sort of over.

A few days after our vacation home I started a new job. And I have to say that it was the best thing that could have happened at the best time. I am a whole new person and a whole new mom. I am myself again. And it ROCKS!

After 9 weeks of crazy emotions and ups and downs, and lots of crying over crying babies and feeding issues, I finally talked to my doctor about what was going on. And he determined that I had post partum depression. And while I don't disagree with him, I ended up not taking medication for it. Mostly because when I did take the meds, I had every.single.side effect. And I mean every single one. And it was the worst 4 days of my life. And instead of trying a different medication and risking the side effects, I took nothing. And the biggest different in my life is going back to work.

Work has been a God send. Seriously. I love spending time with my little boy again. I love being a mom again. I love not hating feeding him anymore. And while he is still fussy while he eats (...makes me feel better that it's not just me!!!) I am dealing with it so much better!

So now, I have an 11 week old little man, who smiles and coos and just lights up my life. And I am so happy that the dark part of having a newborn is over for me. And while it's not all unicorns and rainbows, I am loving my new life.

I am so thankful for the hard part of my life that I went thru, because I now appreciate the good times. I wouldn't change his newborn weeks for anything, and I learned so much about myself and my family.

God is so good!!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

As if you haven't heard about it enough...

Seriously...could I be more boring? All I want to do is talk about freaking breast feeding. And how it isn't working.

If I had known how terribly hard breast feeding was, I would do the last 9 weeks a lot differently.

I would ask for help sooner (like at the hospital). And I would go back to the lactation consultant at the first sign that things weren't working right. And I would keep going back.

For me, breast feeding is not natural and is the hardest thing that I have ever tried to do. I have cried so much over it. And now I am crying over not being able to do it.

Seriously, I have lost weight in tears, I am pretty sure.

And at this point, I am not sure what is worse. Breast feeding, or not breast feeding. Because from where I am right now they both freaking suck. And I feel like we are too far gone from good nursing sessions that we can't go back. And honestly, I cant go back to crying every time he nurses. So not good for either of us.

Maybe I'm depressed. This sure doesn't feel normal. And it's not like me to cry over everything. I keep rationalizing why I am crying, but maybe it has been too long.

I'm just full of issues. Fan-freakin-tastic

I'm calling it a night.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


I wish I could say that life has gotten easier with my little ninja, but sadly this isn't so.

Who on EARTH would think that feeding such a little person would be so hard. This week we decided to feed him mainly bottles, while still having him nurse at night. And this went well for about 5 days. And while I have always had enough milk for twins, now I barely have enough for one. I went from pumping 4-6oz at every pumping session (even the night ones) today I have barely been able to pump 3 oz at a session....and this last time I pumped, it was an ounce.

I am feeling sooo disheartened by this. I want nothing more than to breast feed my baby boy, but right now it's not looking good. I am hoping that once we are home (we are on vacation right now) that things will get a bit easier. And the worst part about this? Last night, the middle of the night feeding was so perfect. He ate so well and so peacefully. And now? I am wondering if we are going to have to run to the store to get formula just to feed him before bed.

Little man, you are two months old. I was hoping that we would have mastered breast feeding by now. Sadly, we are still working on it.

Thankfully, he is so dang sweet normally that it makes it all better. But this little boy is freaking particular about his milk. If it's too fast or too slow, he is ticked. If it's not warm enough, he's ticked. If my milk takes too long to let down, it's all over.

Maybe next time, I'll share something more exciting that breast feeding news.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

8 Weeks

Gosh... It's been two weeks since I blogged. Life is certainly crazy! And busy! And only going to get bussier!

Last time I blogged we were having soooo many issues eating. And on top of that I had a crabby baby. Looking back on weeks 3-6 I think he was probably just growing a lot, not eating properly, and eating too much. I finally went in to my lactation consultant right after I blogged and she helped us immensely. She weighed him, I fed him, and she weighed him again. He didn't eat as much as he normally does, or for as long as I try to feed him for BUT he ate 3.5 oz. More than enough. So, Katie (the lactation consultant) determined that between me feeling him every 2.5-3.5 hours and with how much he was eating I was over feeding him. And that was causing him to get ticked while I was feeding him (because he wasn't hungry) and it was making his tummy hurt because it would get over full. Plus she gave me some tips on how to hold him a little better and make him a little more comfortable and less stressed. Katie was sooooo amazing. I am so thankful that the Navy has provided so much for us. I had wonderful care at the hospital, the lil Ninja has had wonderful care in Peds and when I talk to any of the nurses, they are more than willing to help me. I know that it is not always the case in the military, or even in the civilian world but we have been so BLESSED.

So since then, Hyatt has gotten his 2 month shots, which was HARD. I am sooo glad we are getting him vaccinated but I am even more glad that he did not have a bad reaction to any of the vaccines. He was pretty fussy after his shorts (and who wouldn't be) but Tylenol helps his little leg pains and helped him sleep that night. The next day, he was a tiny bit fussy, but two days after his shots he was back to his happy self.

And speaking of his happy self, MY HAPPY BABY IS BACK!!! Right after that 6 week mark (and I stopped over feeding him) my babe was all smiles and coos again. I am loving being a mom again. Those weeks when he just cried and cried and I just cried and cried were HARD. I felt like such a bad mom because I had a hard time really liking being around my baby. When J would come home I could not wait for someone else to hold his cranky butt. And I think part of it was still my emotions leveling out. And can I just say it is no nice to feel a little more even emotionally? Add in a happy baby, and I am feeling AMAZING.

At 6 weeks I had lost 31 of 41 pounds. At 8 weeks, I've lost 36 of 41 pounds. Even though I have lost most of my weight, my belly is weird. It doesn't bother me so much, but I don't think that a 2 piece is going to be in my future this summer. I'm really no so worried about the weight. I could totally tone up but weight wise, I feel fine with where I am at. My walks have some big hills in them and I am working up to jogging so I am sure I will get toned at some point =)

This week we are home for about 10 days. Hyatt is such a good traveler! I know when he is more mobile it will be a lot harder, but right now I am soooo glad! And it is so nice and relaxing to be home. Lots of arms wanting to hold the babe which is wonderful. And lots of people to laugh with. Love being here!!!

At 8 weeks, he's sleeping 4+ hours. He is just over 10 pounds so I am thinking that he is probably big enough and old enough to be sleeping longer. Since we have been on vacation, we are all staying in the same room and I think it will help him sleep thru the night in the long run. I think he is used to sleeping 4 hours and that is what is waking him up, not hunger. Since he is so close to me, it's easy to just pop a paci in his mouth when he starts to fuss and he is sleeping 5-6+ hours. So, my hope is, that he will get used to sleeping that long and we will no have to use the paci in the middle of the night. I think we are all enjoying him sleeping longer.

I got a new job!!!! And today, this is good news and bad news. I am so so so excited about this new opportunity. I think that I will fit in better than I did at the bank and that I am going to just enjoy my self more. Plus the benefits are better, the pay is better, and it is super close to home. Plus we have the most perfect day care lined up. Everything has just fallen into place. Then we took a trip home.... And thru some difficult events, I may not get to start at the end of this month. I might have to wait until the end of August because I am not home to take a drug test. I am sooo upset. I really want to start this job. I really don't want to not dip into savings to be a stay at home mom for a few more months. This is a pretty big company and they are all over WA, OR and CA so I am hoping that I will be able to take the test while I am home, or drive a few hours to take it. I will find out on Monday if I will be able to start this month or not. I am crossing my fingers!!!! What I am trying to do is just give it to God. He has a plan. There is not detail of my life too small for him to figure out. And if that means I stay home for a few more months, it's not ideal, but I will get to spend all that time with my beautiful babe.

Well, that's my update! Life is just trucking along.... I never thought 8 weeks could fly by so fast!


Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Babies and Boobies

How on earth do I have a 6 week old all ready? And how do I only have about a month left before I have to go back to work? I have NO desire to go back to work. Maybe if I liked my job a little more....But thankfully we will have amazing day care!!! Our lovely neighbor runs a daycare out of her house, and we will be lucky enough to be able to bring our lil ninja there. She is the sweetest person, we are seriously so blessed by this!

My lil ninja has such a personality on him. And I can't wait to see how it changes and evolves as he gets older. Right now, he is soooo particular when he eats. And to be honest, it makes me hate breast feeding a little bit. Man, if things aren't juuuust right, he is screaming his head off. And at 4am (or 12am), a fussy feeder is not easy for this mommy. Cries, kicking, back arching, ripping off my boobie, and just generally fussing really makes me hate breast feeding. And then there are the times where he eats so peacefully. I cannot figure out what is different or what is wrong. Darn boy is making me a little crazy!! But, when we have feed him with a bottle (breast milk) he eats like a champ. Not a fuss in sight! RUDE! =)

He also loves his routine. If after our morning feeding, I don't lay him on a blanket for some tummy time and then to play by himself, he is fussy. If we forget (aka, don't have time for) bath time, he is going to be up every two hours (so fun!). And for me? I love getting out every day. If we go for a walk, go to the store, or just leave the house for a second, that is all I need!

At 6 weeks old, he is sleeping (usually) 4 hours at a time at night. And I can't wait for him to be both more consistant and sleep in longer stretches. Once or twice a week he is still up every two hours. Ugh....those are hard day.

If anyone has any advice, I am all ears!!!

Love that little monster!!!!

*So after fussing thru his midnight feeding, 4 am feeding, and 7:30 feeding...he just ate so peacefully(9:30)!!! I wish I knew what was different. Darn picky baby!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Birth Story- loooong

Since this is my blog and I get to talk about whatever I want, I want to tell you about my birth story.  Feel free to not read =)
And I am sorry ahead of time: TMI!!!

Friday morning: J and I went to our 40 week appointment. I was up on the table and the doctor is asking me all the normal questions. One of them was are you having any contractions, to which I replied "Nope! Not a thing!" And the doctor was feeling my belly making sure of his position tells me that I am currently having one. Apparently I had been having contractions and not feeling them! Wow, I felt dumb! The appointment goes on, and I ask him to strip my membranes in hopes to get things going. I'm pretty sure that he wasn't able to do anything because even though everything was thinning out and moving in the right direction, but I was still pretty high (I think? Maybe). So I am not really sure if he actually stripped my membranes or not.
Since the doctor pointed out my contractions to me, I kept time of them all day. All day long they were 5 min apart. Never painful. Towards the end of the evening, they would get closer to 3-4 minutes apart, but still weren't painful. This stressed J out a little bit because he knew we were "supposed" to go to the hospital when contractions were less than 5 min apart. But I just knew that this wasn't it. In fact I was SURE that our little ninja was going to stay happily in my belly for at least another week.

Saturday: Contractions all day long. Still nothing painful. I would time them throughout the day and they were between 5-8 min apart. But I knew it wasn't time. J and I went for a walk, (3 miles!) hung around the house, and just had a relaxing day. Looking back, I wish that I had cleaned my house a little more this day!!! Not that it was dirty, but my bathroom needed a good scrubbing that I decided to do the day I came home from the hospital (not a good idea).
I casually mentioned to J that I bought caster oil to try and see if that would start labor but I didn't want to use it until after my due date. And I figured, if nothing else happened at least it should "clean me out." J said why not try today (my due date was the next day) and see what happened. I took 1Tbs of caster oil in a glass of orange juice at about 7pm.
*FYI* My doctor was actually a little ticked that I took it and surprised that it "worked" and I am not certain that this started my labor or if it was just his time.

From about 7-9 the caster oil cleaned me out. Not that I was uncomfortable or running to the bathroom but just moved things out in a timely fashion. At about 9 I started to feel sick. Tired, tummy ached, and just generally icky. I went to bed and J stayed downstairs playing xbox.
12:00 on the dot I wake up to a painful stomach ache. I get up and go to the bathroom. After a little bit the ache goes away. A minute later, it's  back. Thinking this is a little weird I grab my phone and start timing the pain on my contraction timer. *Thank you Auntie for telling me that you thought you had a tummy ache too when you went into labor!* I don't have to go big potty and these contractions are about 2 min apart though I only timed a few of them. I head downstairs where my husband is fast asleep on the couch, wake him up and tell him I am actually having contractions that are only a few minutes apart. In his sleepy haze he tells me to lay down with him and he will rub my back. Um, okay, but they are TWO MINUTES APART is what I was thinking! So, I lay down while he rubs my back. We stay like this for about 5 min when I tell him, okay so they are two minutes or LESS apart, what should we do. This is when he FINALLY starts to freak out a little. I call the hospital, talk to a nurse and she says I can either labor at home for awhile and see if they get closer together (um, two minutes apart is EFFING CLOSE!) or if they become too painful to come in and get checked out. I pass along all the info to J and we decide to wait for a little bit since I am still convinced that my little man is not coming out any time soon.

After about 10 min, I decide that this is too painful and I need to go to the hospital. This is when J goes into freak out mode, which for other people probably looks like nothing. But he is rushing around the house, pulling on clothes, asking me a million times if my hospital bag is in the car, is the diaper bag in the car, and am I okay. We make it into the car where my sweet husband drives very quickly to the hospital. I can't really talk thru the contractions, but am keeping up conversation when I'm not in pain. Contractions are still 2 min apart holding steady.

We get to the hospital at about 1:00. I see the same nurse who I talked to on the phone. She lets us into a room and checks me out. The three of us are pretty sure she is going to send me home before she even checks. I was dilated to about 1.5 cm. She tells us that our options are walk around the hospital, go home, or my water needs to break. She is still talking to us, hooking me up to a machine to check the contractions and the babe. All of a sudden I feel two pops and a GUSH of water. I turn to the nurse and was like, uh....I'm pretty sure my water just broke! Sure enough, it has and we get admitted to the hospital.  This is about 1:15 am on Sunday.

J and I have decided that I must block out pain because I only remember tiny bits of what happened between 1:15am and 6:30am. I remember getting checked after my water broke and I was at 3cm. I remember asking for an epidural sometime around 3:30 and getting a shot of something into my IV. I remember feeling some relief for awhile after that first shot and I could talk to J again. I got 2 more shots into my IV between 3:30 and 6am that dulled all of two contractions each time. Other than that, I really don't remember anything. J said that I just held onto his hand and pretty much didn't move. He would occasionally get up to go to the bathroom, but other than that, he stayed holding my hand the whole time. Finally around 6:30 the nurse says the anesthesiologist has arrived. They sit me up and have me lean over onto J. I remember telling him I just can't do this any more. I am in too much pain. I can't handle it. I am pretty sure I was crying at the time too. Thankfully, the epidural kicked in pretty quickly after that and let me tell you I was a new person!!

The anesthesiologist and my doctor must have arrived at pretty much the same time because he came in to check me after I had my epidural. And let me tell you, I am sooooo glad that I got checked after the epidural because I was dilated to a 9cm with only a tiny lip to go.

At 8am they start talking about pushing. I am still chatting away with the nurses and the corpsman. J and I are watching the news. I am a happy camper. The corpsman is talking about bringing me breakfast after the baby is born. Everything has progressed so easily and quickly that we all just assume that pushing will be a breeze.

9am I am ready to push. We push for about an hour and the babys heart rate starts dropping. The doctor tells me they like for his heart rate to stay above 100, his is in the 90's. They start moving me around for the pushing. Laying on one side, laying on the other, on my hands and knees. This probably goes on for about an hour and a half. All the while the baby's heart rate is staying fairly low, I am praying like no other. I am sure J is praying the same way. They are telling us they think that the babe is either laying on the cord or it's possibly wrapped around his neck. Finally his heart rate starts to perk up again. He's off the cord!

After 3 hours of pushing, the babe is still stuck in my pelvis. His head can't get thru. The doctor starts talking c-section. The one thing I have been wanting to avoid. And he tells us that it will not be an easy c section. They will have to push the babe up the birth canal, there is a higher chance that my bladder all other inner parts will tear. I am crying my eyes out (the epidural is wearing off) and am so scared. The doctor decides to let me have a break (I look like death warmed over...nice little oxygen mask and all!) and he will come back in 30 minutes to see what we have decided. Since the epidural was starting to wear off, I could feel the urge to push a little bit so I do while we are waiting. J and I make the decision to go ahead with the c section. I am just to tired to push for even for another half hour. I knew that even though it wasn't what we were planning, I just couldn't continue to push even if I wanted to. I didn't have the energy. The doctor comes back in and we tell him that we are going to do the c section. He decides to check me again just in case the baby has moved at all.

HE MOVED! His head was just enough past my pelvis that we could keep pushing if we wanted to! I asked for another epidural and between that and the 30 minute break I had just enough energy to give it another go. So I push push push for another 30 minutes. And still the babe does not want to come out. They ask if they could try vacuuming him out and I say, YES, GET HIM OUT OF THERE! So another 30 minutes and lots of vacuuming later, my baby boy is born.

They laid him on my chest and I cannot describe how amazing that was. All of the pain, totally worth it. All the exhaustion, worth it. I was so incredibly happy. He is not really crying at this point so the nurses take him to clean him off and check him out. They have J cut the cord and comment on how short the cord it. No way it could have been wrapped around his neck, it was tiny! The doctors (I ended up getting 2 doctors, the doctor that was on call and then the doctor that I saw for most of my pregnancy ended up finding out I was there and staying for my delivery) start to stitch me up. Let me say, thank God for epidurals because had I not had one, the stitching would have SUCKED. I was trying to not pay attention to what they were saying while they were down there because they were not terribly excited about everything. So I watched my babe get cleaned up and his first bath. Finally, after an hour of stitches later the doctors were done. My little man got to eat, which went surprisingly well, the nurses showed me how to burp him, I asked a million questions, and just generally stared at this amazing baby that we made.

Thankfully the nurses let us stay in the birthing room for way longer than normally allowed (Normal is maybe 2 hours, we stayed about 6). While my little man was getting checked in the nursery and getting an IV (we both had a fever at delivery) the nurse wheeled my bed into the recovery room and helped me into the recovery bed. J brought the little man back and we settled into the room. I was on 24 hours bed rest from the rough labor so J did all of the diaper changes and brought him to me so he could eat. We ended up staying about 2 and a half days in the hospital so I could recover and so H could get all of his antibiotics. Thankfully, we are both okay.

My little Hyatt was born about 2pm after 14 hours of labor (4 and a half hours of pushing) at 7 pounds 7.5 ounces and 19.75 inches long. And he is amazing. Worth every second =)

My little boy is now 5 weeks old. It's amazing how fast time flies! He is already in 3 month clothes. Can he please slow down now?

So if you've made it this far, that's our story. I found out two things thru this experience: 1) I am very good at being pregnant. Not so great at giving birth. And 2) apparently 4 and a half hours of pushing is impressive. I was watching the video of the nurses giving H a bath and you can hear them say how crazy I was for pushing that long and they couldn't believe it didn't end in a c section hours ago. And how impressed they were that no only did I push for forever and a day, but my eyes were still open and I wasn't sleeping yet!

I'm hoping our second child is a little easier on me!