Monday, June 20, 2011

As if you haven't heard about it enough...

Seriously...could I be more boring? All I want to do is talk about freaking breast feeding. And how it isn't working.

If I had known how terribly hard breast feeding was, I would do the last 9 weeks a lot differently.

I would ask for help sooner (like at the hospital). And I would go back to the lactation consultant at the first sign that things weren't working right. And I would keep going back.

For me, breast feeding is not natural and is the hardest thing that I have ever tried to do. I have cried so much over it. And now I am crying over not being able to do it.

Seriously, I have lost weight in tears, I am pretty sure.

And at this point, I am not sure what is worse. Breast feeding, or not breast feeding. Because from where I am right now they both freaking suck. And I feel like we are too far gone from good nursing sessions that we can't go back. And honestly, I cant go back to crying every time he nurses. So not good for either of us.

Maybe I'm depressed. This sure doesn't feel normal. And it's not like me to cry over everything. I keep rationalizing why I am crying, but maybe it has been too long.

I'm just full of issues. Fan-freakin-tastic

I'm calling it a night.

1 comment:

Kaylee said...

Awhh, I am so sorry! Good luck to you. I have heard how much of a challenge it is so I am trying to stay calm and not worry too much just yet. You can do this!! What ever you decide is what will be best for you and your baby. Whether you breast or bottle feed, it's about what works for the two of you and makes you both happy and comfortable.
Thinking of you.