Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So not ready to do this alone

J is leaving soon. Way too soon. He leaves in 2 days for home to fix up our rental for the next tenant. Then he comes back on Saturday only to leave on Sunday for a short deployment.

Firstly I am sad to see my husband gone. I love his company and I married him for a reason. I LOVE to be around him. Secondly I am sad because being a single mom is hard. I got a little taste of it a few weeks ago when J was on nights. It's hard doing it all. Work, exercise, dinner, play time, bath time and bed time. And fitting all of that into about 2 hours is even harder.

So it's back to cooking on the weekends and heating things up during the week. Running errands and shopping only on the weekend.

Thankfully I have lots planned for the next month. There is a College football game I will be meeting J's parents for in Seattle, then possibly my besties are coming up for Halloween and then a few weeks after that my mom will be coming to visit and J will already be back.

I know that this will go by fast. My next worry is that now he is on the work up schedule, he will be deploying for real soon. And that will come faster than I would like.

My fears are that I won't be able to talk with J. That I will miss him like crazy and not have family around to keep me busy like when he was in basic. That I will be so tired between work and taking care of H and our home that I would have time to stop and smell the roses. I am sad that J will miss out on some of Hyatt's firsts.

Okay, can't talk about this anymore...Gonna cry!!


1 comment:

Sarah said...

Oh how heartbreaking...I am in my 2nd month of my pregnancy and my hubby n i get soo worried when we start thinking of all the changes in the future..like whose gonna come stay n help us etc..I am in India n here its common that either the hubby's or wife's parents come n stay with the couple n help them out..while that is a blessing it has its own pros n cons...But i feel ultimately worrying aint gonna change anything will jus face it as it comes...so jus wanna let u know at every phas ein life thsese worries keep popping n u surely aint the only one facing it..so dont worry..the tightest hug for u from India :)