So the goal was to blog more... Yeah, that didn't happen so much. Life is crazy and busy and just keeps getting busier and crazier. And I don't really have an excuse. There was time, but mostly I just didn't have anything to say. But tonight I do have something on my mind and that is...
What the heck were we thinking when we decided J should join the Navy?! And I say that because I hate being by myself. Also, I am seriously afraid of everything. And when I am by myself, who is going to be my knight in shining armor? Because do you know who hates the dark? Me. Do you know who hates spiders? Me. And do you know who has to get up in the middle of the night with a sick baby? Me.
I say all this because yes, I am scared. And I may always be scared, but that doesn't mean that I can't do this. I can do this, I can be by myself and to make it. And this is why: "This is my command -- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9.
There is a necklace hanging in my car. Is the the verse, Joshua 1:9. It has been there since my husband gave it to me at 17 years old when we first started dating. Even back then I was afraid. And this was my reminder - God is there. He is always with me. And there is nothing to be afraid of because wherever I am going, He has already been there. I am never alone. Even in the dark.
So yes - today I am questioning why the heck I ever thought that J having a job that required him to be gone for weeks or months at a time. But I know that this is exactly where we are supposed to be. And yes there will be tears, yes there will be hard days, and yes I will get scared, but I will be fine. This is where I am supposed to be. And maybe I'll be a little less fearful in the end.